I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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