C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
