Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
420 ftw
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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