you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
