thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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