This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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