Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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