fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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