Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize