come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
