They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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