There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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