That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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