How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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