Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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