Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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