well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
