He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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