sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
