I just threw up on my dentist
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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