I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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