He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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