but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
