Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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