Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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