I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
