just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
