Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You took a bar mat shot.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize