I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
