Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
