that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
