Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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