Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
