I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
