3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i think my cat just said my name.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
