Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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