Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dick very happy bro
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
