That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
