how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
