is your mom at the bar?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my sisters under your porch take her home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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