It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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