it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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