K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
