Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize