"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
