i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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