i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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