omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
