how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
