How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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