i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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