508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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