Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
