My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
