She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
