dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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