He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
