she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My bed smells like the plague
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
