Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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