She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
